Arab Women=Bed & Breakfast
01.04.12 / Guilty of Shame / 16 Comments
As my nude title indicates Arab women or let’s say many Arab women scattered across our masculine globe feel like nothing but bed and breakfast. Obviously its not a fancy title to die for but in reality its very much how women feel. Some of us feel like tagged possessions with pulse, and some other look at themselves like designed creatures to perfection. Well you can say creatures with a defined scope of work which is in summary: to fulfill their men’s hunger in beds and on plates. Boring!
Excuse my undressed thoughts but sometimes a bit of flesh is a must in order to spot out the many defects in ourselves and beloved society. Men or some good number of similar creatures to men have repeatedly proved to be a failure in understanding what we women really want. I’m not referring to bed fantasies, Belgium chocolate and exotic fruits in some hotel room. Oh no no, that would be what many useless men assume. A woman is an ultra-sensitive creature who is unfortunately repetitively being pressurized by some weird external factors which are to 1 OBEY, 2 LISTEN and 3 NEVER EXPRESS.
The moment poor women express how they truly feel, is exactly when selfish men automatically shut down. I bet you’ve seen the Barbican advert! Men with no shame raise the WE HATE NAGGERS flag! They’ve psychologically played women to the level that some can’t open their hearts to share concerns or even opinions. Obviously women are usually worried about causing disturbance within their households, surroundings… because THEY CARE!
And btw who said women are there to clean after men?
Let me share with you what many women dream about. They dream of that one day when men will finally man up and wash their dirty knickers ALONE instead of dumping them in whatever random basket. They do also dream of that one day when Rashid will move his lousy bum and do some grocery shopping without claiming a COOKIE at 3:00 am. Or maybe clean his plates without feeling less man. Oh trust me we have long list of dreams, but apparently they are just dreams in our diaries till further notice!
It aches me to the core how many Arab women out there feel unwanted, unattended and even worse. But it takes strong women to realize the horrible truth about how their beloved hubbys are definitely not worth the pain. How can any sane woman tolerate the feeling of not being wanted? When a man fails to recognize the needs of this one woman he claims to love there should be something off. When a man can’t make some time for his supposedly lover its just clear that he doesn’t love her enough unless men have their own weird ideologies about relationships and women. I’m all ears! Bottom-line a wise man should be wise enough to come off his horse and embrace Steve’s 3 Ps.
Dear women out there I’m sorry to further intensify things but since when you’re bed and breakfast?
First of all this article is very well written and I personally think you should start writing in papers or magazines that target expats to build bridges between the locals, because I’m sure they can relate.
Secondly, I totally agree with what your saying, but your telling me today there are women who clean behind men? And men who clean behind women? Every khaleeji household no matter what always has a section aka labor camp with economic slaves to serve food, clean, wash and baby sit. So this whole total scenario sounds like those freaky American soap operas were you have bob with a belly scratching his bald head and drinking beer while his wife cleans the floor and babysits. That doesn’t happen here at all. Apart from women not being understood it’s because of how women are precieved in region it will only get better with proper education, and women being successful like yourself, this gives men the initiative to work harder and give women the upper hand.
Instead of writing about this you should also write about how much it costs us for dowry and a wedding aka an arm and a leg
Keep it up
Yousif
Very well said I must say. Arab men will require some kind of gene therapy. It’s at the genetic map level and reinforced even further by our society. They truly believe that they are the only hope for women to live. One reply to your topic indicated that education is the solution. It’s true yet you can also see some young Arab men who suppose to be educated and university graduates and yet mistreat their wives. Seems that their education didn’t help them much regarding that behavior. Keep it up!
you are 100% right.. couldn’t agree more
It’s an honest article, and I did find some truth in it, although it was generalist in nature. There’s lots of grey in society, and many men who are exceptions to these descriptions.
I understand how you are trying to get some women to fully realize their full potential, and that’s a good thing. Likewise, it’s aimed at men who are just too self centered to realize the womenfolk around them.
But like my usual stance/view to articles like this, it takes both to build society, and both need to work together and respect each other in the manner and respect that is needed of them.
I won’t pick sides, since it’s supposed to be only one side all together
Agreed Al Junaibi, it takes 2 to tango!
I wonder if the woman writing this post would inculcate the habits she preaches in her own son. (I am assuming the article is written by a woman).
I have seen mothers pampering the male child and training the female child to do household chores for after marriage. It is here that these habits of not cleaning our own plates and not washing our own clothes and all the other callousness and such attitude that ‘women are supposed to clean up after men’ creeps in.
Women (mothers) (rather parents) should treat their children whether male or female equally for their dreams to come true.
Glad that you’ve listed the factors which I mentioned between my lines.
I am a married Emirati woman and i completley disagree with what you’ve written. I feel insulted by reading what you wrote because it has nothing to do with reality.
who gave you the right to speak on our behalf? and why are you portraying such a negative image of the women, when in reality most of them have a stable, happy life with their families.
if you’re talking about your personal experience, then don’t generalize and solve your own problems without speaking on our behalf.
Mariam I guess, thanks for your comment and I’m still failing to comprehend why 1000s of females’ awful truth insults you. Exactly! The above represents those who need to realize that they aren’t bed or breakfast – and relate to it.
Peace out.
1000s? where do you get your statistics from? do you have your own research company?
the above only represents your personal opinion and false perception of relaity. The truth is: no one relates to what you wrote, because you don’t really know what you’re talking about.
The article isn’t representing your lily world it relates to other bunch of women who happen to not live close to Eden.
Thanks for your interaction and keep coming
I have been married for 20 years, we are both emirati but moved to the uk soon after marriage, myself and my husband were well educated and both had good jobs in the uk. My husband decided that we should live like the uk locals and fend for ourselves, so not only was I working full time I was also cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, gardening and everything else whilst my husband would watch TV, resentment kicked in, surely a professional like myself shouldn’t be working like a servant. My husbands indoctrinated culture and self love never allowed him to care or love me the way I felt I should have been. I loathe each day I get up, many women feel as I do but don’t say it out aloud. When I’m ill. No one cares, The chores still have to be done and because of the nature of my job, I still have to go to work. Frankly, I’m tired with life, as I have no life. I have only myself to blame, I should have walked away 20 years ago.
I am Arab woman And I feel angry when I read Such articles ignorant racism>
Who gave you the truth toSpeak in our names?.
I live a normal life in my country. I can wear me veil without discomfort. And I can get out of my house And to work. And most Arab men treat their women in superb form. Most women who are subjected to violence by men Are Western women. That are exploiting their bodies in sex. And enslavement of Western women to show her body in the streets. Most Serial murderers who kill women are Westerners men . Expose the crimes committed West World against other peoples. And with this come and exercising hypocrisy with us. Is actually funny
Is your blog based on reliable research or is it just based on your opinion and imagination? This kind of issue exists in european and western societies. The majority of households in UAE have a decent number of staff working for them. I am aware that some don’t, but presenting them publicly as “bed and breakfast” makes me so ashamed that you’d call yourself Emaratist. I believe you no right to speak for anyone other than yourself.
Something for you to think about Alia.
I guess I dont feel insulted by your blog because I’m not married
and I do agree with you,, and the issue you are discussing is the main reason why I’m not married yet and not exactly looking forward to it or thrilled about the whole marriage idea.
Like VirgO_virgO said above,
Its in their genes unfortunately,
I’m not saying 100% of them, but the majority.
Keep it up.. !
Very well said and there is a huge pressure now on Arab men as Arab women dont need a man’s shadow to live as they became more in control of their life and I say so because I am arabic too.
Very true and well written.