Why I’m Single
12.07.12 / High on emirates / 13 Comments
She’s big personality, confident, successful, ambitious, educated, I believe fairly good looking, etc … But yeah why?!
I honestly believe that labeling a single woman who’s in her late 20s or 30s as a spinster is no longer relevant. Am I single by choice? I’d say absolutely yes. In any case, this piece of thought is general and not specifically about me. Trust me, there are thousands of Emarati women out there who have decided to wisely wait and not ride the first train stop. Ironically, as women i.e. not the alpha male , we have been taught from a very young age that once the train passes by, you either jump or kiss it goodbye. Not to forget, our eggs are wasted and yeah we’ll no longer be fertile. Exactly, women in the Arab world are pressurized by a brutally judgmental society to marry, produce few dozens, nurture till death knocks their doors.
What I find extremely bizarre is the way that our society keeps promoting a very outdated rationale about why women aren’t getting married as quickly as they used to do. Here is the magic word and obviously number one (promoted) reason of growing spinsters in our societies tarararaaa “dowry” or as we say almahar. I have to say, I beg to differ! Why blame it on the dowry? It is not the high dowry that keeps many women in the UAE or other Arab societies single, not at all. But its actually the fact that we women have now unlimited opportunities and our lives – thankfully – don’t only revolve around men.
Just to be clear, YES, we do fancy men and we love having conversations with them in whatever professional environment (especially the good looking ones hehe JK!). And, I’m not saying that we’re no longer interested in having our own families and loving partners, we do, but unfortunately it is not enough. I’m sorry to break the news … Women in the Emarati society have changed and progressed along with the nation’s growth. Many knowledgeable women aging between late 20s and early 30s are very hesitant to jeopardize their freedom or give up their time for mediocre lifetime partners. Women are now artists, entrepreneurs, volunteers, academics, ministers and technically do run the world. And yes, finding compatible future husbands who can comprehend our growing ambition can actually be a bit challenging and sometimes time consuming.
I sincerely want to encourage men to humbly take some quality time to recognize and positively understand the changing psychology of women. I’d like to confirm that this specific class of women in the Emarati society isn’t trying to revolt against any customs or act tough or superior. Women are very keen to capitalize on given opportunities in a way that benefits their agendas and people. Their progressive and big personalities shouldn’t been seen as threat or negative trend among men.
My mother had probably given birth to her 10th child before hitting 35 and I salute her for putting so much effort to first staying sane and second raising my siblings and myself at her best. But, I personally have decided to carry on a different path in life because the dynamics of the society have changed. Today I can choose to be whatever I want to be whenever I feel like, I have options. Being a mature single woman is so empowering especially in a male dominant society that is now being introduced to a whole new wave of powerful, independent and beautiful women.
I’m single until further notice, and only I will decide when to give out the notice!